


My Yeerk and me

by Noxae



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 04:46:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19418770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noxae/pseuds/Noxae
Summary: The story of a difficult cohabitation





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the translation of a story I wrote in French originally.

Six months ago, if someone had told me I was going to be saved by maple and ginger oatmeal, I would have advised them to go see a shrink - right after laughing in their face. And yet, that's exactly what happened. Sorry, that's the end of the story. I have trouble focusing my thoughts lately. Let me start again at the beginning.

My name is Emily. A normal name for a normal girl. See the girl to whom you give one look and forget about in the next second? The girl who can blend in as easily as a hyperactive chameleon? That was me. I wasn't noteworthy at all, really.

Until a parasite from another planet decided to take up residence in my head. This was the result of a long chain of events, the first link of which was named Christopher. Christopher, the most good-looking guy in our class. Do I really have to draw you a picture?

Anyway, the day it all started, we were in class listening to a man making a really boring speech, talking about some kind of organization. The Sharing or something. I kept yawning and my gaze wandered frequently outside the window. According to my friend the clock, I'd be free to go home in just a few more minutes.

The bell finally rang as I was almost done counting the numbers of holes in the ceiling, signaling the end of my suffering. Freedom! I had quickly gathered my belongings and was almost out of the door when someone called my name.

"Hey, Emily!"

I turned around. And froze. In front of me stood the most drop dead gorgeous guy I had ever seen. It was Christopher, as I'm sure you've already guessed.

"Buhguh?" I stammered, blushing like an overripe tomato.

"Leaving already? You know, the Sharing is a great organization. You could make a lot of friends."

It took a while for my brain to start working again. Christopher was talking to me! Me!

"Yeah, sure," I heard myself say automatically.

Christopher!

"There's a meeting Thursday evening where anyone can come and see what we're all about."

Was talking to me!

"Wanna come?"

He shot me a smile with that last sentence and I almost felt my heart stop.

"C... Come? Me?"

My cheeks were burning so hot I expected the fire alarm to go off any second now.

"Well, I'm talking to you, aren't I?"

I was a hair's breadth away from fainting.

_Deep breaths, Emily, that's the key_ , I told myself.

I was _so_ not going to faint in front of Christopher.

"Sure, I'll be there."

A whole sentence, and without any stuttering! I was getting better at this.

"Cool. See you Thursday then."

Another smile, which turned my legs into jelly.

And that's how it happened. I took the bait like an idiot, and I swallowed it all, hook, line, and sinker.

***

Very soon, it was Thursday. The meeting was taking place not far from my house, in the park. I knew the place well because I took Barley - our neighbor's dog - out for a walk there very regularly. In my mind, it was better than baby-sitting when it came to making some pocket money. At least when Barley drooled on me I knew it wasn't intentional.

But today the park was different from the usual. For starters, there were a lot of people. They had also set up a large platform and a podium, as well as about fifty chairs so we could warm our butts instead of standing around awkwardly while listening to the speeches. Half the seats were already taken. I recognized a few people, my math teacher amongst them. What was Mr. Valium doing with the Sharing? How could the most soporific teacher in the entire universe and the best looking guy in the whole galaxy belong to the same organization? What could they possibly have in common?

There were also some stalls offering foods and drinks, and another one which was overflowing with flyers and immediately caught my gaze. Not because of the flyers, mind you. It was just that Christopher was standing right next to it.

He smiled when he saw me. Suddenly, I was on cloud nine.

"Hey, Emily!" he greeted me. "I was starting to think you wouldn't make it!"

"I had to negociate with my parents. They don't like it when I go out in the evening," I said.

And then I mentally slapped myself. Why in the name of all that is holy had I said that? Now he was going to think I was a nice little girl who stayed hidden under the protective shadow of her genitors, too afraid to stand up to them.

"Folks, am I right?" he answered. "I've got the same problems with mine. Can't wait til I'm 18, you know?"

Relief flooded me. He didn't find me stupid!

"Yeah, me too," I agreed.

Christopher gave a nod toward the person who ran the stall.

"Marc, meet Emily. Emily, Marc."

We shook hands. He crushed my fingers in his strong grip for a split second before letting go of my hand. I held back a scowl. What was the matter with him? He didn't like the look of me or something?

"Marc is in charge of registrations for the organization. We've had lots of people joining lately, so he's swamped by work at the moment. I hope you'll give him some more," he added with a laugh.

I shrugged noncommittally.

"I don't like groups much. I'm more of a lone wolf."

"Well, the Sharing is much more than just a group. But I'm not lauching into that speech without a drink first. Come on, let's go get something."

And that's how I found myself in a one-on-one discussion with Christopher. I felt like I was dreaming. Granted, we were mostly talking about the Sharing and how it was going to change my life if I joined, but still. Two days ago, I wouldn't even have dared to look him in the eye.

"... but you see, it's that spirit of community that I like most with the Sharing. There's no competition, we're all equal," Christopher was saying.

He paused to take a long swig of his soda.

"We help people reach their full potential. Who knows what you could become?"

I gave a weak nod, more interested by the way his lips moved when he talked than by what was actually coming out of his mouth.

Applause rose around us, distracting me. A man had climbed on stage and was getting ready to make a speech. Christopher stoop up, winking at me in a manner that said "I'm leaving you in good hands". The man started by welcoming us, before moving on to the usual stuff, talking about how we were stronger together and praising team spirit because it made up for each of our individual weaknesses. His voice was steady without being dull, and he made jokes when appropriate and generally had a very enthusiastic glow about him. I was starting to get interested despite myself.

"...and to conclude, I have but one thing to say: enjoy your evening!" he said at the end. "The drink stalls are open and just waiting for you, and we'll light the barbecues any minute. Don't worry, we brought the sausages!"

That last weak joke was met with a few laughs before thundering applause erupted, in which I participated. The guy was worth it for his rhetoric skills alone, even if his ideas were nothing I hadn't heard before.

I got up to look around for Christopher, but he was nowhere in sight.

"Well well, look who it is," a voice said behind me.

_Oh no, not them._

I turned around, plastering on my face my best fake smile. I should have known that Jessica and her two inseparable friends would show up to wreck my evening. They already constantly pestered me at school, but apparently it wasn't enough in the eyes of Fate. No. The eyes of fate. It didn't even deserve its capital letter.

"Hi Jessica," I said in a sweet tone.

"It's nice to see you here," my classmate said. "You made the right choice, the Sharing is a great organization. Are you going to join? Think how cool it'd be if you were a member! We could share so many things!"

Her two friends who always followed her around like a pair of blind puppy dogs nodded in unison. I blinked. What? Not even one insult? What the heck was going on here? Was I actually talking to clones from the nice dimension?

"Yeah, that's why it's called the Sharing," I said carefully.

They giggled. _Giggled_ , seriously. But not the kind of giggle meaning "haha you're so pathetic", no. The kind that meant "oh my gosh you're hilarious, have you ever thought about stand-up comedy?". Two options: either my lie detecting ability was completely off, or they were really being honest. If it was the latter, then suddenly anything was possible. Penguins wearing snow boots! Getting an A in Maths! Bags of chips filled with actual chips instead of air!

If that was Fate apologizing to me, it could have its capital letter back.

Of course, had I known everything I know now, I wouldn't even have given its "f" to fate. But that evening, I was naive and optimistic enough to make the stupidest mistake of my entire life. I filled out their form and joined the Sharing, thinking it would get me closer to Christopher. The other members seemed nice, the atmosphere felt welcoming, and if I didn't like it in the end, I figured I could always change my mind.

How wrong I was.

***

A few weeks went past. I went regularly to the Sharing meetings. I was astonished when I realized the diversity in their members, a fact that had escaped my notice that evening in the park - I suppose I was too focused on Christopher. Young and old, gay and straight, housewives and kids who went to primary school, there were all sort of people in the Sharing. A spirit of mutual aid and kindness reigned supreme at their premises, a building that used to be a disused theater before they had saved it from demolition and had renovated it.

They assigned me a guide, someone who was there to help me find my way and answer any questions I may have had. His name was Seth, and just like Christopher, he was a full member.

"What does it mean exactly?" I asked once as he was showing me around their private library.

"We full members all share a very big secret..." he said with a smile. "You'll understand one day, little grasshopper."

As vague statements went, this one couldn't possibly have been vaguer. And yet all it did was pique my curiosity further. So when the moment came, I didn't hesitate:

"Are you sure?" Seth asked. "You really want to become a full member?"

I nodded eagerly.

"Yes, I'm sure. I want to do something with my life. Make the world a better place."

He smiled.

"Great. There's just the small matter of the initiation ceremony, and you'll be one of us."

I ended up in a room in the basement, with Seth and two other full members, as well as a girl who wanted the same thing I did. Small and overheated, the room contained something that looked like a mini jacuzzi. A dark liquid bubbled in the pool. Even from afar, it seemed strangely thick - like molten lead, I guess. What could it be? Maybe this initiation was some kind of disguised hazing? I hoped they weren't going to ask us to drink that stuff...

"Julie, why don't you go first..." Seth said to the other girl. "Get closer to the pool and put the right side of your head in the water."

Julie and I exchanged a puzzled look. She bit her lip, seemingly hesitant, before dropping down on her knees in front of the pool. I watched as she lowered her head into the liquid, wondering what was the point of all this. Nobody had told us about that part of the initiation... In fact, nobody talked much about the iniation in itself; the full members usually just said they had felt much better afterwards, knowing they were a part of something greater than themselves.

Julie suddenly cried out in surprise and started to lift her head. And that's when things went south. The two other guys stepped in and forced her to stay on her knees, one ear submerged in the liquid. I backed away, torn between confusion and panic.

Seth grabbed me by the arm.

"It's only a formality," he said. "It will all be over in a moment."

Oh shit, what had I gotten myself into? Julie was struggling, her finger joints whitening as she gripped the metallic rim of the jacuzzi. She screamed again, but they shoved her head under the water, cutting off her protests.

"I... I've changed my mind," I said, my voice lifeless. "Let me go."

Far from complying, Seth gripped my arm harder.

"Little late for that," he breathed in my ear.

All of a sudden, Julie ceased her struggles. At first I thought she had passed out, but when the two brutes moved aside, she got up on her own. Then she calmly turned toward us. And smiled.

"Don't worry, Emily. It doesn't hurt that much, and you'll feel... much more in phase with the world after."

My heart was hammering in my chest. I struggled to swallow.

"Forget it," Seth said. "We're wasting time, she's never gonna be a volunteer anyway."

Upon hearing him talk in such a cold and clinical way, the dam which was helding back my fear exploded. Adrenaline flooded my veins. I started screaming and punching wildly - anything as long as I did _something_ , really. I tried to run to the exit but they pounced on me. I struggled like a mad woman, even biting someone's hand out of rage when it came too close to my mouth.

No dice. They overpowered me - three adult men against one adolescent girl, I didn't stand a chance -, and my head ended up in the liquid. Instinctively, I held my breath and closed my eyes. The substance was tepid and felt strangely viscous on my skin. Very unpleasant.

A moment later, something touched my ear. Panic blossomed at the pit of my stomach, burning through the rest of my body like fire. What was that? Oh god, what was it doing? Helpless to stop it, I could only stand there as the thing forced its way into my ear canal. It burned like hell. I would have screamed if my head hadn't been underwater at the time.

And then, there was another mind touching mine. The shock made me open my eyes. How... ? I tried closing them again, but I couldn't do it. My body, which had been as tense as a bowstring, suddenly relaxed - without my say so. Slowly, I lifted my head from the pool and took a deep breath, before coughing a bit.

Only it wasn't me who was doing it. It was like I was now riding shotgun instead of driving my body. There was someone in my head, and it controlled everything. Impossible! I must have been dreaming.

My mouth moved without my permission:

"You could have treated this body more gently," I heard myself say. "The shoulder is sore, and there will possibly be bruises."

"Tell that to your host," Seth answered. "There wouldn't have been any problems if she had volunteered."

I tried moving. Any type of movement would have been enough. A shudder in my pinkie. The blink of an eye. Anything. I tried it, pushing myself as far as I could, but nothing happened. Nothing. Even the panic I felt wasn't visible physically: my heart had resumed beating at its normal rythm and the adrenaline had vanished.

_Who are you? What's going on? Why can't I move anymore?_ I asked, nearly hysterical.

The thing in my head laughed.

_Me? My name is Valkesh 227, and you are my slave._


	2. Chapter 2

A nightmare.

That's what my life became from the moment Valkesh slithered into my head. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me continue from where I left off.

Following my infestation, the Yeerk made me go home. The walk from the Sharing building to my house had never felt so long. I kept going over and over what had happened, searching for an explanation to this madness. As for the Yeerk, he didn't seem to care at all about my mental distress.

When we arrived home, he slammed the door on our way in and carelessly tossed my backpack in the hall.

"Did you have a good day, sweetheart?" my mom asked from the kitchen.

"Oh you know, the usual," the Yeerk answered, using my mouth. "The sport teacher made us ran two miles, so I'm pretty beat."

My mother smiled.

"Look at the silver lining: running is a good way to lose fat."

The Yeerk gave a very convincing annoyed groan that sounded just like me. How was he doing that? I rebelled internally. No. No way it was going to be like that. My mother was bound to notice something was off about me. An alien parasite was controlling every single one of my actions, how could she not see that? I tried to catch her gaze to send her a clue, something, _anything_ , but the Yeerk looked away.

 _Does it surprise you that I can replicate your behaviour flawlessly?_ he taunted me. _You are like an open book to me, Emily._

 _I forbid you to use my name_ , I snapped back, aiming for the same derogatory tone he had used.

 _If you think I care about what you think of me, you're sorely mistaken_ , he said as he took the bread to make some toasts.

Then he went upstairs, in my room, sat down at my desk, and starting eating my - or should I say our? - snack. I realized that some of his thoughts were reaching me. I could feel the pleasure he took in the taste of bread and butter in my mouth. He was also enjoying the combination of the cold and sweet texture of the butter and the crunchiness of the bread - something I had never paid any attention to before.

_It's just toast, I don't see what's so special about it,_ I remarked.

_Naive and ignorant, but I didn't expect anything less. You humans have no idea how lucky you are,_ he answered disdainfully.

_Blah blah blah._

I withdrew into myself. I may have been stuck with a slug in my head but nobody could force me to talk to it if I didn't want to - just about the only freedom I had left. The Yeerk finished eating our snack, and then he tackled my homework. Had I been in a good mood, I could have almost considered that as "the bright side of infestation". Almost. It took him all of five seconds to do the math exercises, without even using my knowledge - and he wasn't that good at mimicking me either, because I would have made mistakes. When it came to French though, he went searching into my memories.

_What a stupid idea to have hundreds of different langages for just one race. What a waste of time. When we conquer this planet, we will establish Galard as a universal langage._

_If._

It hadn't been long before breaking my vow not to talk to the alien in my head. In my defense, I had never been so utterly bored. You think English classes are the pinnacle of boredom? Try living your life as a spectator of your own actions.

The Yeerk must have been just as equally bored because he knew exactly what I meant since he could read my thoughts, and yet he asked:

_If?_

_If you conquer this planet. Not when._

_Really. And who is going to stop us?_

Excellent question.

_If there is some justice in this world, someone will stop you._

He laughed derisively.

_Such marvelous optimism. I give you three days tops before you start crying and begging me to get out of your head._

He was probably right, too. That wasn't a very happy thought.

For dinner, my mom had ordered a pizza. It was just the three of us: her, me, and my little sister. Dad was on a business trip on the other side of the world. The Yeerk ate three pieces of pizza, joked with my family, and promised Lily he would help learn her poem for next week's recitation. Exactly what I would have done.

Except I could feel his boredom. He was more interested in the pizza than in Lily, who was talking about what she had done at school today. That stupidly made me angry. If he couldn't appreciate my family to the full, he should have left me alone. After all it wasn't like I had asked him to get into my head.

He contradicted me straight away:

_Of course I appreciate them. They would be perfect as hosts._

I bared my teeth mentally, and I swear I felt his slug body tighten further around my brain in an effort to quell any outward signs of my rage.

_You'd better not touch any of them with your slimy palps, or I swear..._

There was no way I would let them suffer the same fate as me.

_How do you know we haven't already?_

That threw me off. And I was well aware that "Can't be, because I would have noticed" wasn't a valid argument.

_They're not linked to the Sharing,_ I finally said.  _And besides, what would be the point of this masquerade if you were between Yeerks?_

_Not yet,_ he aknowledged.  _But I'm sure Lily would be thrilled to get involved in our welcoming organization. I think her big sister is gonna tell her all about our wonderful meetings very soon..._

Like I said: a nightmare. He was coldly planning to enslave my whole family and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop him.

The Yeerk went to bed early, with the excuse that there was a test tomorrow. I didn't understand the point of that particular lie. Maybe he wanted to pass the time by going to sleep as soon as he could. It was perfectly fine with me. At least in my dreams I would be able to move on my own.

He lied down on my back, legs completely stretched out, and drew back the cover up to my chin. Then he closed my eyes. What kind of position was that? It was so meticulous as to be unnatural. No one in the world slept like that. Where did that come from? The chapter "How to fall asleep" in "Humans for Dummies"?

_If there were such a thing, I would have gone straight to the chapter "How to shut up your host"._

Suddenly, there was a weight on my belly. Something purred in the dark and a small furry head nuzzled itself against my neck. Instinctively, I tried to raise a hand to pet it. My hand did raise, but instead of scratching the kitten behind his hears, it picked him up and threw him violently across the room, sending him flying into the air.

 _Hey!_ I protested. _What's your problem? He didn't do anything to you!_

_Stupid creature,_ the Yeerk commented.

_Ghost sleeps with me every night. My mother will find it weird if that changes suddenly._

I was taking great pleasure in telling him something he already knew.

_I am well aware of it, stupid host. I'll just blame the cat. Do you think she will ask him his side of the story if I tell her he scratched me?_

_Was that a joke?_

_Shut up._

Silence fell between us again. After some time the Yeerk made my body roll on the side, assuming a more comfortable position. Eventually, I fell asleep, feeling lonelier than I had ever been, which was kind of ironic considering there was someone wrapped around my brain - you could hardly get any closer than that.

When I woke up the next day, pain had come to pay me a visit. My belly was twisted by all too familiar cramps. Great. Just what I needed. Murphy's Law had struck again.

The Yeerk got up with a groan.

_What is this pain?_

He opened my memories and found the answer right away.

 _They gave me a defective body_ , he growled. _Why couldn't I have gotten a male?_

_My heart bleeds for you. Really, it does._

He staggered into the bathroom.

_Your reproductive system is really too troublesome. And uselessly complicated at that. One has to wonder how your species evolved this way._

_Because yours is better?_

He saw my curiosity, and for one reason or another, decided to satisfy it.

_Yeerks have three parents instead of just two, and there are no fertility periods: they can join together whenever they please. Their bodies then break up into hundreds of grubs, and that's how new Yeerks are born._

Well that was weird.

_But the parents died when they give birth then?_ I asked to clarify.

_Yes._

It was a "yes" that seemed to be close in meaning to a "So?".

 _Our brothers and sisters are our family_ , he simply added.

He started removing my clothes to take a shower. I balked at the thought.

_Wow, wait a minute!_

When he got my body into my pyjamas last night, he had done the whole thing in the dark. But now... he was going to see everything. My reaction got a laught out of him.

_Oh, please. Your social norms don't apply here. We're not even of the same species._

He ignored me while he was showering my body. It felt like the heights of humiliation, and the clinical way in which he washed my body made it ten times worse. As if I was just a piece of meat he had to keep clean. And to think my self-esteem was already really low... That was going to make it tumble down and crash on the ground for sure.

The first period of the day was maths.

Valkesh and I were united in boredom. From what I had gathered, the Yeerks were considerably more scientifically advanced than us poor humans. No wonder Valkesh was twiddling his metaphorical thumbs when faced with highschool level math. Sometimes I could see flashes of memories that seemed to leak from him. Images of spaceships, strange creatures, and a green sky streaked with lightning. I didn't know if he was doing it on purpose or if it was some kind of natural phenomenon.

As the teacher launched herself into a convoluted explanation, I began to wonder just how many of my classmates had a Yeerk in their heads. I already knew about Christopher. Jessica and her two friends were a sure guess too. Who else?

As if to answer my question, the Yeerk directed my eyes toward our teacher.

_Her? Mrs Chevallier, the most hated teacher in the entire school? A Yeerk?_

No way.

_We are capable of reproducing any given type of behavior, be it that of a lowly teacher or of a important politician._

What he was implying was all too clear. I cringed at the thought.

_No. No, I don't believe you. If you had gotten the president already, you would have bragged about it before._

_The head of your government is not yet a Controller, true_ , he admitted. _But it won't be long before that happens. And in the end, we'll have you all. That need of yours to belong to something greater than yourselves, to feel accepted, to be understood... it will be your undoing._

I couldn't find the words to defend my species, so I stayed silent.

At recess, all the Yeerks gathered in the schoolyard. A group I was dreaming to belong to just a few days ago: smart people dressed just like in the magazines, who joked with each other and always seemed perfectly at ease. If I had known the truth...

Christopher - well, his Yeerk - walked up to me and smiled.

"Well? What do you think?"

He was obviously talking about me. Valkesh shrugged my shoulders.

"It'll do. Not the best, but it's still better than a Gedd."

Christopher frowned. I had no idea what a Gedd was, but it couldn't have been flattering.

"That bad, uh? What, did you get one of those who complain all the time?"

"I could deal with just the whining... but sometimes I think we go about this the wrong way, you know. We could try to do things more slowly with our hosts, maybe give them more explanations, or.."

"...give them a choice?" Christopher's Yeerk cut in. "Be careful of what you're saying. You know how such words could be understood."

A shudder ran through my entire body, the sign that Valkesh was suddenly ill-at-ease. He knew he had just made a blunder.

"I'm not a sympathiser of the Peace Movement", he hissed.

"That's not what I said," countered the other. "Just be mindful of your words."

Valkesh tilted my head. I felt his distrust of the other Yeerk. If he was suspected of being a traitor, the consequences would be dire...

_What a sad way to live. Not only do you need to enslave other species in order to enjoy life, but there is also a constant atmosphere of suspicion in your ranks._

_Silence_ , he ordered. _It was only a minor incident. Everything will go back to normal once those pacifist traitors are unmasked and brought to justice._

_What is this Movement anyway? Yeerks who ask for permission before slithering inside your head?_

_A bunch of idealistic idiots. They can't stomach the thought of imposing their will to another sentient being, so they only take voluntary hosts._

I was floored. So not all Yeerks were the same after all.

 _But who'd want a Yeerk in his head?_ I asked.

It seemed crazy that anyone would willingly accept to share his or her life with a slug from outer space.

_Imagine I'd give you control whenever you wanted. You've already admitted by yourself that having a Yeerk inside your head can be quite beneficial when I did your math exercises yesterday. My strengths balancing your weaknesses and vice-versa. Imagine we'd share everything, without encroaching upon the other's privacy._

_True symbiosis._

There was a silence as we both thought about what it meant. That Peace Movement was the proof that there could be another way for the Yeerks, that they didn't have to infest their hosts by force. A small flame of hope rekindled inside me.

 _They are simply irresponsible and foolish_ , Valkesh concluded. _They will all be captured and condemned to die by lack of Kandrona rays._

_Kandrona? What is that?_

And that's how I discovered the existence of the Yeerk Pool.


	3. Chapter 3

The Yeerk Pool.

Hell on Earth. And no, that is not an overstatement.

Imagine a vast subterrean cave, with a small lake of muddied water in the center. Imagine cages filled with men and women who have lost all hope, their eyes dull and lifeless. Imagine the screams, the shouts, the sobs. The resignation felt by the hosts when their Yeerks make them kneel at the edge of the pool. They know they're going to be free for a few hours, but one thing won't change: nobody will hear them screaming.

Nobody. I knew that and yet I still chose to resist. Because I didn't want to make this easy for them. Because it had been three days since I was in control of my body. Besides, I didn't really need a reason. As soon as Valkesh slithered out of my ear, I struggled like a mad woman. To no avail. The two Hork-Bajirs flanking me quickly overpowered me and threw me in a cage. I gripped the bars and insulted them as best I could, spitting all the venom of my hate into their faces. It was a nice way to blow off steam. At long last my body finally obeyed my command, and the words that came out of my mouth were the ones I wanted to say.

I unleashed all my hatred and suffering in a stream of audible bile. It went on for a while. In the end, I calmed down and swallowed my tears. I could shout myself hoarse all I wanted: it still wouldn't accomplish anything. The other people who shared my cage had already understood that. At that thought, I felt even more depressed - if such a thing was possible.

Since I didn't have anything else to do, I looked around. My gaze wandered on the gigantic Yeerk Pool teeming with slugs, then on the Hork-Bajirs Controllers who were patrolling, before finally coming to rest on a place that gave me pause. There were humans sitting on confortable chairs, leisurely watching TV, drinks in hand. What was going on? Were those Yeerks waiting for their turn to go feed in the pool?

"They're volunteers," said a voice near me.

I turned my head. A brown-haired guy who looked absolutely exhausted stared back at me. I had a feeling I had seen him somewhere before. But where?

"I don't understand how some people can deliberately give up their free will," I answered while searching my memory.

He shrugged.

"An alien invasion doesn't mean all the dumb people will suddenly go away."

It came back to me in a flash.

"Marc. The flyer guy."

And yes, I had just said that out loud. I immediately blushed. Stupid mouth. I had just regained its control and already I was misusing it.

Marc smiled.

"Not very flattering, but I'll take it."

He held out his hand to me.

"Nice to meet you for real."

Of course. I felt stupid.

"The first time, it was the Yeerk..."

"Yeah. I tried to warn you," he added.

"You mean when you crushed my hand?"

He grimaced.

"Okay, maybe it wasn't the best thing to do."

"It's fine," I told him. "At least you tried something."

And that was only then that I realized what it meant.

"Wait... How did you manage to override the Yeerk's control?"

A smile on his face, half sadness and half pride.

"I got lucky. He was tired since he hadn't fed in three days, he was close to the limit."

"Does it happen often?" I asked.

Maybe I could warn my family by taking advantage of Valkesh in a moment of weakness...

"Right now they're experiencing some problems with their supply of Kandrona because the bandits took one out, so they have imposed rationing. That doesn't apply to high-ranked Yeerks of course, but mine is near the bottom anyway..."

"Bandits? You mean the Peace Movement?"

He smiled again, savagely this time.

"Ask your Yeerk. Ask him about the Andalites bandits."

Which is exactly what I did as soon as Valkesh got back in my head. He groaned.

_Stupid blabber mouth hosts._

_Remember when you asked me who was going to stop you?_ I taunted him.  _That's who. The Andalites bandits._

Valkesh didn't answer, but I felt the hatred he was harbouring toward Andalites. And somewhere, deep down, drowned under all his confidence and his arrogance, I knew there was a tiny, tiny spark of fear.

I knew it.

***

I was sitting in the kitchen, gorging myself on oatmeal.

A few weeks had passed. Nothing had changed. Valkesh and I were still at daggers drawn and I had been waiting all this time for him to make a mistake so I could warn my family, but nothing of the sort had happened. His control over my body was iron strong, and he was never backing down an inch in our eternal struggle. It seemed the Kandrona rationing mentioned by Marc were not affecting him in the least. Too bad.

 _Silence, host,_ he ordered me automatically.

Like you would order a dog to go to its bed.

Then he brought a new spoonful of oatmeal to my lips.

"Do you like the oatmeal, sweetheart? It's a new flavor, I thought we'd try it."

If you could call that a flavor. Ginger and maple. In other words: yuck. Who even ate that kind of thing?

Valkesh raised my eyes and smiled to my mother.

"I love it. Could you buy some more when you'll go shopping?"

Yeerks, apparently.

 _There's something wrong with you if you like that... that thing - I can't even call it food_ , I remarked.

Valkesh didn't contradict me. It was unusual for him. I could feel he didn't even enjoy the taste that much. And yet, he kept stuffing my mouth with oatmeal, spoonful after spoonful. Inexplicably.

 _I don't have to explain myself to you,_ he said, _but that doesn't mean there are no reasons behind my actions._

_Whatever..._

He finished his bowl and got up, sated.

For now.

***

The fairy touched my forehead with her magic wand in a solemn gesture.

"Make a wish."

Valkesh closed my eyes, which was what I wanted to do for once. What I would have done.

_I wish to be free._

In my head, the Yeerk laughed.

_Ridiculous. Every time I think you've reached the limits of the pathetic, you manage to prove me wrong._

Lily shook her wand under my nose.

"There!" she exclaimed. "Your wish will come true before the year is over!"

Valkesh made me smile.

"What about you? Don't you want to make a wish?"

"Nah, I'm the fairy! That's not how it works. Besides, I already got everything I wanted!"

A kid in a Robin Hood costume came up to us.

"Come on, Lily!" he said. "Let's go open your presents!"

The fairy and the English thief went away, running. A dozen of disguised kids were crowding around the coffee table, which was hardly visible underneath all the gift-wrapped packages of various forms and colors. There were screams filled with wonder when Lily opened her first present.

"I want one just like that!" said Batman.

"Can I try it?" asked Snow White.

"Me first!" begged a ladybug.

In short, Lily's birthday could be summed up as a dozen kids yelling in the living room.

 _You see them as kids but you're not much older,_ Valked pointed out with disdain.

_No? And how old are you then?_

I would have bet he was far from being a hardened veteran. He had been in my head so long I felt I knew him well by now.

_Just a little over ten Yeerks years, but comparatively speaking I'm older than you._

_But not much_ , I objected. _You act tough but in the end you're barely an adult._

I got a groan in answer, but kept talking:

_All your stories about the Yeerks war exploits, about all those species conquered by your empire, but you've actually never been there, you've never fought. I'd bet my life on it._

_Is that what you think?_

Suddenly, and without any kind of warning, I was elsewhere.

_The yellow eyes of a tiger, raw with savagery._

_The beast springs, soaring through the air, and hits me full in the chest. My breath is knocked out from my lungs by the impact. I fall to the ground, rolling to avoid the deadly claws that swooch in my direction._

_I get up and strike back at the tiger with my elbow blades, aiming for his throat. He dodges in a fluid movement and attacks again. His claws open four bloody gashes on my forearm, four painful slashes burning like fire._

_We circle around each other, waiting for the right time, for the opportunity to deliver the mortal blow. He roars and I feel my legs weaken._

_No._

_I bring up my foot, a quick and dirty strike, then my wrist and elbow blades whip through the air, wounding the tiger on his flank and tearing off some of his fur. But that's not enough._

_Suddenly his jaws as strong as iron clamp down on my arm. I feel the bones breaking, giving way under the awful pressure of the beast's teeth. Only it's not really a beast._

_He strengthens his grip, and with a snap of his head, he rips off my hand. I scream. The suffering experienced by my Hork-Bajir host is mine as well. My stump burns with atrocious pain. Blood flows everywhere, bright green on the floor and on the tiger's lips._

_I fall on my knees, unwittingly offering my throat to the beast in the process, but I can no longer control my body..._

I came back to the present, stunned by the vision. Damn. What _was_ that? Had my body still belong to me, I would have had trouble to breathe. It had seemed as real as what I was experiencing right now.

_Do you still think I never actually fought?_ Valkesh taunted me.

As always, he had the last word.

***

The door squeaked.

The noise, high-pitched and very sonorous, echoed in the corridor. We froze on the spot. Valkesh held his breath and listened intently, waiting to see if the sound had been heard. After several seconds of heavy silence, he closed the door very carefully and made his way into the kitchen.

The cold tiles of the floor stung my naked feet.

_You could have at least put some socks on._

_Your comfort does not rank high on my list of priorities._

Something fluffly brushed against my leg, followed by a questioning meow. If not my parents, we had managed to wake up Ghost. Valkesh pushed him away with one feet - not violently, but rather as if the cat was only a minor obstacle which didn't warrant more than one second of the Yeerk's time. He was focused on something else entirely.

I could feel the longing inside him with a worrying intensity. He couldn't help himself. It was like a need, something that had become an absolute requirement for him and that he couldn't deny at all.

He was finally nearing his goal. With a trembling hand, he opened the cupboard and took the Holy Grail.

What Holy Grail, you ask?

Oatmeal.

Instant ginger and maple oatmeal, more precisely.

He didn't even take the time to pour it in a bowl, he just plunged his hand in the package and brought the oatmeal directly to our mouth. Then he chewed it carefully, sighing in complete satisfaction. My shoulders, which had been very tense, relaxed.

_Getting up in the middle of the night to stuff yourself with that thing? There's something wrong with you_ , I informed him pleasantly.

He didn't answer, too busy enjoying what had become a drug for him.

***

_I'm swimming in the nourishing liquid, feeling only happiness and warmth. Here I am home._

_I squeeze myself inside the ear canal that is offered up to me, extending my palps, and then, the shock, the electrical connections of the brain that I discover, and I feel such joy I could explode with it. So these are colors..._

_A green sky with lightning overhead. Beautiful, so beautiful, even seen through the myopic eyes of a Geed I do not get tired of it. Why should I go back to the pool and have to be blind again? Isn't there enough hosts for everybody?_

_My elbow blade cuts through the air and is blocked. Yespir smiled at me, mocking me, but I don't let myself become distracted, no. I strike back with my knee and the blow connects, making him groan. The instructor compliments me, "Good. Your Hork-Bajirs bodies will be useful in close combat..."_

I woke up with a start. Wow. I had never had visions like those before.

_Valkesh?_

There was only silence from his side. I could feel his presence, but there seemed to be a wall between me and him.

_I'm talking to you, slug! It'd be real nice if you could keep your slimy memories to yourself, I don't want them in my dreams._

A moment of hesitation. He finally turned his attention toward me, like it was a chore. I guessed he was busy doing something else and I had disturbed him.

_You should be flattered. It's not every day an inferior being such as you gets the chance to see the memories of a Yeerk._

The words were said in his usual biting tone, but something was missing. A touch of aggressiveness. Instead, there was only weariness, as if answering me cost him somehow.

_Yeah, sorry, not interested._

I hesitated before asking the question that had been on my mind.

_It's the oatmeal, isn't it? I don't know how it works, but it's doing something to you, changing you..._

_Silence. That's none of your concern._

_But I'm right, though._

This time, _I_ had the last word.

***

A math test, a few days later.

My hand was running across the page, writing down the needed formulas with dreary regularity. When suddenly...

_RIIIIP!_

My pen slipped on the page, leaving a big messy line in its wake. Valkesh immediately got things under control, suppressing my next try and reasserting his will over my body in the blink of an eye. But that small moment of distraction had been enough.

 _I_ had been the one to move my hand.

 _Me_ , not him.

I could have screamed for joy.

 _Shut up, slave_ , ordered Valkesh. _It won't happen again._

But the black line crossing the page diagonally seemed to claim it could, and it would.

***

I was sitting in the kitchen, gorging myself on oatmeal. Again.

Valkesh was eating with his hands, not even bothering with cutlery anymore, shoving the stuff in my mouth and swallowing in a hurry so he could start the cycle over and over again.

"Emily, what's happening to you?"

My mother's voice startled the Yeerk out of his feeding frenzy. He rose his head.

"You've changed," my mother went on, obviously worried. "You know, if there's something wrong, you can talk to me. I'm here for you..."

_Take that, you ugly slug. She noticed I wasn't me._

_Shut up, stupid Hork-Bajir. Go eat some tree bark._

I was puzzled by that weird answer. Valkesh blinked my eyes, and I felt him shake himself mentally, like he was coming out of a dream.

"No, everything's fine, Mom," he said, a few seconds too late. "I'm just a little bit stressed out by all the homework the teachers are giving us."

The Yeerk forced my mouth into a smile to make his lie more convincing. My mother came closer.

"Sweetheart, do you..."

I never got to hear what she said next. Suddenly my back arched and I fell to the ground, my head filled with familiar visions.

_Green, green, green, too dark and ligthning forking in that sky, color of lead..._

_The gorilla's fist smashes into my belly, sending me sprawling on the ground, and that flash of pain when my head hits the floor..._

_In orbit around Earth, I'm looking at it through a window... Those humans are clueless for now, but very soon they will all become the slaves of the Yeerk Empire, and we will finally be able to take our revenge on the Andalites..._

From very far away I heard my voice sputtering gibberish and screams that sounded like someone was being tortured. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably. My head banged against the tiles.

 _You belong to me,_ Valkesh said as the visions disappeared. _My slave! My host!_

_Go to hell!_ I screamed, physically as well as mentally.

My hand sprang up and I slapped myself. The taste of blood filled my mouth. I tried to look at my mother, my eyes controlled half by the Yeerk and half by me, and saw only horror and confusion on her face.

***

I ended up in a mental hospital.

Even though I swore that I was fine, that I totally wasn't crazy, just a little tired... nothing worked. Valkesh' crisis undermined all my credibility, and it didn't help either whenever I forgot myself and answered him out loud.

So I found myself behind bars. Maybe it's better this way. What could I have changed anyway? Nobody would believe me if I started talking about brain stealing aliens and their secret invasion. Nobody who was sane, anyway. And the Yeerks would be quick to shut me up. I know them well enough to know they don't tolerate any witness.

But I've been branded a crazy person, so they'll probably leave me alone.

I'm the one in control of my body now. Valkesh is still there, folded around my brain. Sometimes he comes back to reality for a few minutes, but not enough to take back control. I talk to him from time to time when boredom weights too heavily on my mind.

My mother came to visit me recently. I thanked her for buying instant maple and ginger oatmeal. She didn't understood. Then I had a crisis, and when I came back to consciousness, she was gone. I don't blame her.

My name is Emily. And I'm free, now.

More or less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end. :)
> 
> One last thought for the famous instant ginger and maple oatmeal... In the French translation, it became cornflakes, and since I read that first, it will always be ginger and maple cornflakes to me (yeah, no "instant", because what would that even mean?).


End file.
